19. Mr Nene was explaining something to Pissu n Agent R.
Mr Nene - U have to consider this n write the values here. R u getting it?
Pissu - Yes sir. ofcourse
Mr Nene - then calculate the ................................." u guys getting it?
Pissu - Yes sir, ya sure.. Pissu has understood everything.
THEN PISSU N AGENT R START WORKING.
Agent R - iske bare me sir ne kya bola tha? mereko samajh nahi aaya.
Pissu - pata nahi yaar Pissu ko bhi nahi samajh aaya.
Agent R - (tab to yes yes kar raha tha).
Pissu - Ab kya karna hai ? Pissu ko kuch samajh nahi aa raha.
Agent R - Tu to bol raha tha ki tereko sam samajh aa gaya, so meine sir se kuch poocha nahi.
Pissu - Yaar actually subah se Pissu ke head me dard ho raha hai, matlab ki Pissu ka dimag nahi chal raha. Plz to sir se pooch kar aa firse aur kaam complete karde.
Agent R - (im going to kill him)
20.
Pissu - Oye to radha se kyun ladte rehta hai pure time. Woh kitna sharif hai aur tu itna harami. Woh Pissu ka kitna dhyan rakhta hai.
Agent Hain - (haaaiinnnnn !!!!) puzzelled
SOMETIME BACK
Agent R - Im goin to kill tht irritating Pissu. kaisa bharwa hai. kuch kaam nahi karta.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Pissu cant dance saala
Pissu cant dance saala
Naa muscular..
Naa popular
Gets close to girls
Par hai bachelor.. hai bachelor.. rahega bachelor
Pissu gtalk chats padhta hai
Pissu sewak se ladta hai
Pissu ki height 5-2
Children section mein akadta hai
Mohit ki isse raaton mein
Roz padhta hai paala
But pissu cant dance saala
But pissu cant dance saala
Water park mein bhi randi dance karta hai
Club mein bhi wohi randi dance oye
IMS mein pissu ki kismatein chamki
Mannate saari puri hui manki
Pissu usse call lagata hai…
Phir usko gaaliya sunaata hai
Aur jo usse yaad nahin kartaaa
Usse block kar jaata hai
But pissu cant dance saala
chets ko mann himann chahata hai
art of living ki class jaata… hoye
Pile pier mein bhi nahin difference
Pissu bola.. toh ob hai nonsense
Pissu bed churaata hai
Resturaunt menu bhi chupaata hai
Pissu taiyaar hoke bhi
Gen mein muvi nahin jaata hai
But pissu cant dance saala..
Courtesy Munju
Naa muscular..
Naa popular
Gets close to girls
Par hai bachelor.. hai bachelor.. rahega bachelor
Pissu gtalk chats padhta hai
Pissu sewak se ladta hai
Pissu ki height 5-2
Children section mein akadta hai
Mohit ki isse raaton mein
Roz padhta hai paala
But pissu cant dance saala
But pissu cant dance saala
Water park mein bhi randi dance karta hai
Club mein bhi wohi randi dance oye
IMS mein pissu ki kismatein chamki
Mannate saari puri hui manki
Pissu usse call lagata hai…
Phir usko gaaliya sunaata hai
Aur jo usse yaad nahin kartaaa
Usse block kar jaata hai
But pissu cant dance saala
chets ko mann himann chahata hai
art of living ki class jaata… hoye
Pile pier mein bhi nahin difference
Pissu bola.. toh ob hai nonsense
Pissu bed churaata hai
Resturaunt menu bhi chupaata hai
Pissu taiyaar hoke bhi
Gen mein muvi nahin jaata hai
But pissu cant dance saala..
Courtesy Munju
God of small things
1.
Pissu – Yaar Pissu size ke kapde kahin milte hi nahi hain. Badon ke section me Pissu jata hai to size bada hota hai, bacho ke section me chota. Kal Pissu chets ko saath lekar jayega.
Agent D – Haan yeh sahi hai. Who kapde kaat kat tere size ka bana dega. (grinning)
2.
Pissu – abe ye tere gtalk me D. Munjral kaun hai?
Agent D – Papa
Pissu – Acha! Daddy Munjral !!!!
Agent D – nalayak Pissu unka naam Deepak Munjral hai.
Pissu- ohh
Agent D- Waise tu kabhi embarrass nahi hota?
Every1 else – ROFL !!!
3.
Pissu – tujhe kharab to nahi lagta na??
Agent ? – kis baat se?
Pissu – kuch nahi bas Pissu sabko advice deta rehta hai.isliye. Matlab Pissu ke friends ko to pata hai ki Pissu hamesha sahi bolta hai. But koi naya banda ho to use aacha nahi lagta.
Agent ? – (ob hai kisi to tu aacha nahi lagta.)
4.
Agent ? – Meine IIFT ka form bhar diya.
Pissu – Bhar bhi diya? Waise Pissu bhi soch raha tha bharne ko. Chets ne kaha to tha.
Agent L – Chets ne kaha tha to bhar dena tha.
Pissu – Pissu aur Chets ka aisa rishta hai jaise tere aur Piyush ka.
Agent L – Haan isliye to bol raha hun ki tereko bharna chahiye tha.
Pissu – Its none of ur business ok. (angrily)
5.
O.C comes and puts his hand on Pissu’s shoulder.
Agent L – Usne tere shoulder pe haath kaise rakha? Shit be,,,Tereko ganda kar diya. Lagta hai use tere se pyaar ho gaya hai.
Pissu – Haan be. Ab Pissu us madarchod ko haath nahi rakhne dega.
Agent L – (Pissu kya chutiya hai :P)
O.C comes and puts his hand again on Pissus’s shoulder.
Pissu – (Angrily) Don’t touch Pissu.
O.C – (shocked) y?
Pissu – Pissu doesn’t like people touching him.
Every1 else – (What a chut !!!)
6.
Pissu – Tala laga diyo. Tere haath me to chabi rehti hai, Pissu ko wallet se nikalni padegi.
Agent Hain – Pissu mera haath chabi nahi hai. Bag se nikalni hogi.
7.
Pissu – (senti) Duniya me sab rishtey matlab ke hote hain. Sirif Maa bete ko chod ke
Agent Hain- Kis chutiye ne tujhe phir chutiya banaya hai? Ya yeh theory teri hai?
Pissu – Yeh Pissu ki theory hai. Dekh teri behen ko lagta hai tu uski raksha karega, tere dad ko lagta hai tu unka naam Roshan karega. Bas Maa hi aise hai jiske pyaar ke peeche koi matlab nahi hota.
8.
1st presentation going on.
Pissu completes his presentation.
Mr. Nene (20 yrs experience) - What is the difference between pile and pier foundation.
Pissu(20 mins experience) – sir both are the same.
Mr. Nene – No, there is some difference.
Pissu – No sir, Pissu googled and it said there is no difference and Pissu also consulted Mr. Anand (5 months experience).
Mr. Nene - But there is some difference.
Pissu - Sir Pissu googled it. Its not Pissu’s fault. Mr Anand also said. Pissu is right.
9.
Agent ? – Tereko BB aachi lagti hai na?
Pissu – Nahi yaar. Matlab ki pehle who Pissu ko aaqchi lagti thi but Pissu ke saath hamesha yeh hi hota hai.Matlab jab bhi Pissu kisi ladki ko dekhta hai to attract hota hai but jaise jaise baat hone lagti hai who attraction band ho jati hai. Pissu bas flirt karta hai par bandi bas firnd jaisi hoti hai.
Agent ? – (Abe tu usse door nahi jata, teri baatien sun kar who khud door ho jati hai)
10
Pissu calls BB n asks her to accompany him to Lal Baugh for Ganesh Visarjan..She tells Pissu that she’ll come on Friday to IMS and on Saturday they will go together. Pissu messages her another 2-3 times.
Finally its Friday and BB doesn’t come.
Pissu – Saali, Bhen ki lodi, kuttiya, madarchod,
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya?
Pissu – Abe yaar who BB aayi nahi. Matlab saali apne peeche ghumaye jaa rahi hai Pissu ko. Pissu ka chutiya kaat rahi hai. Matlab ki itna bhaw Pissu ne aaj tak kisi ko nahi diya.
Agent M – (ROFL)
11
Agent R and Agent Hain were abusing each other on gtalk and Pissu is sitting with Agent Hain. Finally Agent Hain writes “tu Pissuchod hai”. Pissu starts laughing as if he has heard the best joke ever ( unaware of the fact that rest of us call him Pissu).
Pissu – ahahahahahahahahahahaha… Kya mast gaali hai. Hahahahahaahahhohohohhoho.
Rest – HHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA…ROFL ROFL (kya chutiya hai Pissu)
12
Agent R – What is the meaning of Pissu?
Agent L was about to speak but was interrupted by Pissu.
Pissu – Pissu ka matlab hai KIDA,,,Matlab ki GANDA CHOTA KIDA,,, JIS SE GHIN AATI HAI,,, AUR BAHUT IRRITATING HO.
Agent R – Ohhhh.. wow !!!! What a great definition .Thanks.
Rest – (ROFL)
13.
Pissu - Yaar kal movie challenge plz.
Rest – Ok !
NEXT DAY
Everyone gets ready and so does Pissu. Agent D and Agent ? are already at the Mall waiting for others to come.
Pissu – (After getting ready). Yaar Pissu soch raha hai ki Pissu kyun jaa raha hai.
Agent Hain – Kyun ab kya ho gaya. Tu tyaar to ho gaya hai.
Pissu – Pata nahi ab man nahi kar raha.
So Pissu doesn’t go
After coming back from the movie.
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya tha aaj?? Tyaar hokar bhi nahi chala.
Pissu – Yaar matlab ki actually Pissu bahut din se akela nahi raha tha so matlab aaj Pissu ka akele rehne ka man tha.
Agent Hain – (Good!!! Next time ill say “yaar bahut dino se tere bina kahin nahi gaye, aaj mat aa humare saath)
14.
Nikhil Bansal gets placed. But he makes a BIG mistake. He didn’t call Pissu and tell him that he got placed. Pissu gets to know about his placement from someone else.
Result – Pissu is furious. (y didn’t he call me)
Pissu talks to Prashant about this on gtalk. Tells him that he is very angry with Nikhil as he didn’t call him so he’s not going to talk to him, Prashant copies the whole chat and sends it to Nikhil. So Nikhil calls Pissu but Pissu cancels it. He calls Pissu again but Pissu cancels the call again. Hence nikhil messages him:
Nihil – Abe utha le phone. Sorry galti ho gayi
Pissu – Nahi. Pissu baat nahi karni.
Nikhil – Abe sorry yaar. Please utha le.
Pissu – Ab kyun caal kar raha hai. Pehle nahi kiya. An kya ho gaya. Pissu ko baat nahi karni.
Nikhil – Abe bola sorry. Maaf karde.
Pissu – No.
Nikhil – Maa chuda !!!
So Pissu blocks Nikhil and all his friends on gtalk.
Agent Hain – Tu itna udas kyun hai?
Pissu – Nikhil ne Pissu ko call karke nahi bayata ki uska placement ho gaya. To Pissu ne sabko gtalk par block kar diya hai.
Agent Hain – Sabko??
Pissu – Pissu ke saare friends us group me.
Agent Hain – Sabko kyun kiya?? Aur waise baat nahi karni to online mat jaa. Block kyun kiya?
Pissu – Jisse sabko lage ki Pissu gussa hai. Kuch importance dikhane ke liye.
Agent Hain – (haahahahaha….kya bacha hai)
15.
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya hai tereko??
Pissu – Abe Pissu dekhna chahata tha ki Pissu ki yaad kisko aati hai to Pissu ne ghar par call nahi kiya 3 din tak. So papa ka call aaya and he asked ki call kyun nahi kiya 3 din se.
Pissu told him ki Pissu ko dekhna tha ki pehle yaad kisko aati hai. So he said aacha yeh baat hai to mein phone rakhta hun. To Pissu ne kaha sorry.
Agent Hain – (OMG!!! He’s he biggest chut I’ve ever seen)
16.
Pissu - Pissu badal gaya hai. Now Pissu has stopped pretending things…
Agent Hain - Kisko pretend kar raha tha???
Pissu - Khud Pissu ko… Pissu who banne ki koshish kar raha tha jo Pissu actually nahi hai. aur itne dino baad Pissu ki bansi se baat ho gayi. :) Chawala ne bola ki “tu art of living ki classes join kar ,thujhe uski sakt zaroorat hai.”
17.
Agent L, Agent Hain, Agent ? and Pissu were going Mr. Nene. to ask for a leave for Diwali.
Pissu – Yaar kaise jayen? Pissu ko dar lag raha hai.
Agent L – Mein to jaa raha hun. Tum log dekh lo kya karma hai?
Pissu – Abe ruk. Hum pehle jaten hai.
Agent L – To fir saath chalten hai sab.
Pissu – Nahi,, 4 log jada ho jayenge.
Agent L – 3 ya 4.. Difference kya hai.
Pissu – 3 theek lagta hai,, 4 jada ho jayega. Psychologically
Agent L – (imitating Pissu) Haan matlab ki 3 kam hai matlab 4 jada hai matlab ki psychologically dekho to matlab matlab.
Pissu – (angrily) to fir ja kyun nahi raha?
Agent L – Mein to ja hi raha tha. Tune hi roka.
Rest – (finally kuch interesting mila lekhne ko itne din baad :P)
18.
Agent ? – Yahaan machar bahut hain so raat me all out laga liyo. Kafi kat te hain machar.
Pissu – ok
Agent ? – Aacha mein chalta hun fir.
After 2 days when they meet.
Pissu – Yaar Pissu ko raat me kafi late neend aayi.
Agent ? – Machar the na kafi?
Pissu – Nahi matlab ki tune kaha tha ki machar hote hain so Pissu puri raat machar ki wait karta raha ki machar aayega aur Pissu ko katega.. Par machar aaya hi nahi.
Agent ? - :-O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OMG)
Pissu – Yaar Pissu size ke kapde kahin milte hi nahi hain. Badon ke section me Pissu jata hai to size bada hota hai, bacho ke section me chota. Kal Pissu chets ko saath lekar jayega.
Agent D – Haan yeh sahi hai. Who kapde kaat kat tere size ka bana dega. (grinning)
2.
Pissu – abe ye tere gtalk me D. Munjral kaun hai?
Agent D – Papa
Pissu – Acha! Daddy Munjral !!!!
Agent D – nalayak Pissu unka naam Deepak Munjral hai.
Pissu- ohh
Agent D- Waise tu kabhi embarrass nahi hota?
Every1 else – ROFL !!!
3.
Pissu – tujhe kharab to nahi lagta na??
Agent ? – kis baat se?
Pissu – kuch nahi bas Pissu sabko advice deta rehta hai.isliye. Matlab Pissu ke friends ko to pata hai ki Pissu hamesha sahi bolta hai. But koi naya banda ho to use aacha nahi lagta.
Agent ? – (ob hai kisi to tu aacha nahi lagta.)
4.
Agent ? – Meine IIFT ka form bhar diya.
Pissu – Bhar bhi diya? Waise Pissu bhi soch raha tha bharne ko. Chets ne kaha to tha.
Agent L – Chets ne kaha tha to bhar dena tha.
Pissu – Pissu aur Chets ka aisa rishta hai jaise tere aur Piyush ka.
Agent L – Haan isliye to bol raha hun ki tereko bharna chahiye tha.
Pissu – Its none of ur business ok. (angrily)
5.
O.C comes and puts his hand on Pissu’s shoulder.
Agent L – Usne tere shoulder pe haath kaise rakha? Shit be,,,Tereko ganda kar diya. Lagta hai use tere se pyaar ho gaya hai.
Pissu – Haan be. Ab Pissu us madarchod ko haath nahi rakhne dega.
Agent L – (Pissu kya chutiya hai :P)
O.C comes and puts his hand again on Pissus’s shoulder.
Pissu – (Angrily) Don’t touch Pissu.
O.C – (shocked) y?
Pissu – Pissu doesn’t like people touching him.
Every1 else – (What a chut !!!)
6.
Pissu – Tala laga diyo. Tere haath me to chabi rehti hai, Pissu ko wallet se nikalni padegi.
Agent Hain – Pissu mera haath chabi nahi hai. Bag se nikalni hogi.
7.
Pissu – (senti) Duniya me sab rishtey matlab ke hote hain. Sirif Maa bete ko chod ke
Agent Hain- Kis chutiye ne tujhe phir chutiya banaya hai? Ya yeh theory teri hai?
Pissu – Yeh Pissu ki theory hai. Dekh teri behen ko lagta hai tu uski raksha karega, tere dad ko lagta hai tu unka naam Roshan karega. Bas Maa hi aise hai jiske pyaar ke peeche koi matlab nahi hota.
8.
1st presentation going on.
Pissu completes his presentation.
Mr. Nene (20 yrs experience) - What is the difference between pile and pier foundation.
Pissu(20 mins experience) – sir both are the same.
Mr. Nene – No, there is some difference.
Pissu – No sir, Pissu googled and it said there is no difference and Pissu also consulted Mr. Anand (5 months experience).
Mr. Nene - But there is some difference.
Pissu - Sir Pissu googled it. Its not Pissu’s fault. Mr Anand also said. Pissu is right.
9.
Agent ? – Tereko BB aachi lagti hai na?
Pissu – Nahi yaar. Matlab ki pehle who Pissu ko aaqchi lagti thi but Pissu ke saath hamesha yeh hi hota hai.Matlab jab bhi Pissu kisi ladki ko dekhta hai to attract hota hai but jaise jaise baat hone lagti hai who attraction band ho jati hai. Pissu bas flirt karta hai par bandi bas firnd jaisi hoti hai.
Agent ? – (Abe tu usse door nahi jata, teri baatien sun kar who khud door ho jati hai)
10
Pissu calls BB n asks her to accompany him to Lal Baugh for Ganesh Visarjan..She tells Pissu that she’ll come on Friday to IMS and on Saturday they will go together. Pissu messages her another 2-3 times.
Finally its Friday and BB doesn’t come.
Pissu – Saali, Bhen ki lodi, kuttiya, madarchod,
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya?
Pissu – Abe yaar who BB aayi nahi. Matlab saali apne peeche ghumaye jaa rahi hai Pissu ko. Pissu ka chutiya kaat rahi hai. Matlab ki itna bhaw Pissu ne aaj tak kisi ko nahi diya.
Agent M – (ROFL)
11
Agent R and Agent Hain were abusing each other on gtalk and Pissu is sitting with Agent Hain. Finally Agent Hain writes “tu Pissuchod hai”. Pissu starts laughing as if he has heard the best joke ever ( unaware of the fact that rest of us call him Pissu).
Pissu – ahahahahahahahahahahaha… Kya mast gaali hai. Hahahahahaahahhohohohhoho.
Rest – HHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA…ROFL ROFL (kya chutiya hai Pissu)
12
Agent R – What is the meaning of Pissu?
Agent L was about to speak but was interrupted by Pissu.
Pissu – Pissu ka matlab hai KIDA,,,Matlab ki GANDA CHOTA KIDA,,, JIS SE GHIN AATI HAI,,, AUR BAHUT IRRITATING HO.
Agent R – Ohhhh.. wow !!!! What a great definition .Thanks.
Rest – (ROFL)
13.
Pissu - Yaar kal movie challenge plz.
Rest – Ok !
NEXT DAY
Everyone gets ready and so does Pissu. Agent D and Agent ? are already at the Mall waiting for others to come.
Pissu – (After getting ready). Yaar Pissu soch raha hai ki Pissu kyun jaa raha hai.
Agent Hain – Kyun ab kya ho gaya. Tu tyaar to ho gaya hai.
Pissu – Pata nahi ab man nahi kar raha.
So Pissu doesn’t go
After coming back from the movie.
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya tha aaj?? Tyaar hokar bhi nahi chala.
Pissu – Yaar matlab ki actually Pissu bahut din se akela nahi raha tha so matlab aaj Pissu ka akele rehne ka man tha.
Agent Hain – (Good!!! Next time ill say “yaar bahut dino se tere bina kahin nahi gaye, aaj mat aa humare saath)
14.
Nikhil Bansal gets placed. But he makes a BIG mistake. He didn’t call Pissu and tell him that he got placed. Pissu gets to know about his placement from someone else.
Result – Pissu is furious. (y didn’t he call me)
Pissu talks to Prashant about this on gtalk. Tells him that he is very angry with Nikhil as he didn’t call him so he’s not going to talk to him, Prashant copies the whole chat and sends it to Nikhil. So Nikhil calls Pissu but Pissu cancels it. He calls Pissu again but Pissu cancels the call again. Hence nikhil messages him:
Nihil – Abe utha le phone. Sorry galti ho gayi
Pissu – Nahi. Pissu baat nahi karni.
Nikhil – Abe sorry yaar. Please utha le.
Pissu – Ab kyun caal kar raha hai. Pehle nahi kiya. An kya ho gaya. Pissu ko baat nahi karni.
Nikhil – Abe bola sorry. Maaf karde.
Pissu – No.
Nikhil – Maa chuda !!!
So Pissu blocks Nikhil and all his friends on gtalk.
Agent Hain – Tu itna udas kyun hai?
Pissu – Nikhil ne Pissu ko call karke nahi bayata ki uska placement ho gaya. To Pissu ne sabko gtalk par block kar diya hai.
Agent Hain – Sabko??
Pissu – Pissu ke saare friends us group me.
Agent Hain – Sabko kyun kiya?? Aur waise baat nahi karni to online mat jaa. Block kyun kiya?
Pissu – Jisse sabko lage ki Pissu gussa hai. Kuch importance dikhane ke liye.
Agent Hain – (haahahahaha….kya bacha hai)
15.
Agent Hain – Kya ho gaya hai tereko??
Pissu – Abe Pissu dekhna chahata tha ki Pissu ki yaad kisko aati hai to Pissu ne ghar par call nahi kiya 3 din tak. So papa ka call aaya and he asked ki call kyun nahi kiya 3 din se.
Pissu told him ki Pissu ko dekhna tha ki pehle yaad kisko aati hai. So he said aacha yeh baat hai to mein phone rakhta hun. To Pissu ne kaha sorry.
Agent Hain – (OMG!!! He’s he biggest chut I’ve ever seen)
16.
Pissu - Pissu badal gaya hai. Now Pissu has stopped pretending things…
Agent Hain - Kisko pretend kar raha tha???
Pissu - Khud Pissu ko… Pissu who banne ki koshish kar raha tha jo Pissu actually nahi hai. aur itne dino baad Pissu ki bansi se baat ho gayi. :) Chawala ne bola ki “tu art of living ki classes join kar ,thujhe uski sakt zaroorat hai.”
17.
Agent L, Agent Hain, Agent ? and Pissu were going Mr. Nene. to ask for a leave for Diwali.
Pissu – Yaar kaise jayen? Pissu ko dar lag raha hai.
Agent L – Mein to jaa raha hun. Tum log dekh lo kya karma hai?
Pissu – Abe ruk. Hum pehle jaten hai.
Agent L – To fir saath chalten hai sab.
Pissu – Nahi,, 4 log jada ho jayenge.
Agent L – 3 ya 4.. Difference kya hai.
Pissu – 3 theek lagta hai,, 4 jada ho jayega. Psychologically
Agent L – (imitating Pissu) Haan matlab ki 3 kam hai matlab 4 jada hai matlab ki psychologically dekho to matlab matlab.
Pissu – (angrily) to fir ja kyun nahi raha?
Agent L – Mein to ja hi raha tha. Tune hi roka.
Rest – (finally kuch interesting mila lekhne ko itne din baad :P)
18.
Agent ? – Yahaan machar bahut hain so raat me all out laga liyo. Kafi kat te hain machar.
Pissu – ok
Agent ? – Aacha mein chalta hun fir.
After 2 days when they meet.
Pissu – Yaar Pissu ko raat me kafi late neend aayi.
Agent ? – Machar the na kafi?
Pissu – Nahi matlab ki tune kaha tha ki machar hote hain so Pissu puri raat machar ki wait karta raha ki machar aayega aur Pissu ko katega.. Par machar aaya hi nahi.
Agent ? - :-O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OMG)
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